Monday, February 20, 2012

Here's a surprise - or maybe not

Last Monday, the day before Valentine's Day, Kent wanted to talk to me. He wouldn't talk about it on the phone. So I drove over to his place (had to anyway to give him some of the tax refund) to find out what he wanted.

Turns out what he wanted was what I feared - reconciliation.

He said he missed his family and blah, blah, blah. I said I don't feel that way about him and I thought when we parted that he was fine with that.

Yesterday, when I was over at Mom's to change the lightbulb in her bathroom for the third time this year (technically the first time for me, as Donna did the other two, but the third time it had to be changed), she dropped a little bombshell.

Kent had changed his relationship status on Facebook. Recently, as in the past few days.

Really? That's all you have to do? Just change your status and you're done? I wish I had known that.

Unfortunately, before I found about about this, other members of my family did and left a comment or comments on a thread he was involved in and some comments got deleted. So I don't know the whole thing and can only speculate about whom he was referring with this:

Yeah well she is back she found me on facebook i walked away from her 4 years ago and this is the 3rd time she has found me so am going after it

 If I am the "she" he mentioned, let me state that he is misrepresenting. "Found" him? I can't get rid of him. I keep telling myself I'm going to finally file for divorce but never get around to it. I know I should have spent the tax refund on that instead of a new laptop.

Let me tell you the rest of the story.

Last summer, Kent had borrowed my car. He knew he was only supposed to go do one thing, no side trips and no passengers. He was in a neighborhood my car had no business in (it was completely unrelated to why he had the car) and when a boy about 10 years old ran across the road in front of him, he "didn't have time to stop." He still didn't have time to stop right after the boy rolled across the hood of my car, because he continued on. (The boy wasn't seriously injured.)

I was waiting for him to bring my car back - I was at work and took my supper break. I heard sirens off in the distance. The person on desk called my cell phone to say my license number was called over the police scanner. I called Kent and asked him what was up - did he run a stop sign or something? He said,  yes, and he was on his way. (He had previously said he was putting oil in my car, which was his excuse for the delay.)

When he got to my work, I drove. On the way to taking him home, we stopped at Casey's by the college and he got more oil, and allegedly put some in. Then we drove to his friend Chad's house for me to drop him off. The girls called to say a sheriff's deputy had come by, but they didn't open the door. So I called the Law Enforcement Center. A police officer called me back and said Kent was involved in a hit-and-run involving a child.

By this time we were at his friend Chad's. I told Kent he had to call the police back, and he did. And then I took him back to the LEC. (But not before he and his friend Chad were looking at the engine of my car, which is important, because they were the last ones under the hood before the oil cap came off while I was driving from girls camp near Boone back to Fort Dodge, and ruined the engine of my car. I still think he owes me for that.)

At the LEC, Kent went in while I waited outside. Eventually I went in - this was still my supper break and it was taking a long time. The officer mentioned that Kent had told him he had a passenger - remember I said he wasn't supposed to? It just kept getting better and better.

To cut this short (too late!), Kent had a court date in July. He was supposed to pay a fine for leaving the scene of the accident and for court costs. He told me later that he paid that fine in August.

Fast forward to February. We file together because, after all, we are still married, and I give him a portion  of the federal tax refund (to which he is really not entitled,as he pays no taxes and offers no financial support for the girls). Then I find out that the state tax refund is being held. It's being held to pay his court fines from last summer. That's just precious. His major screwup has already cost me a car, and now $262 is being taken from the state refund, and the whole refund is being held up for 45 days because of it.

Also, on Friday, he asked me if he could borrow some money. Isn't that just the cherry on top? 

And he had the audacity to list himself as single. Don't I wish.


Jessica chavez said...

I read your post. You sound like my mother when she was married to my dad. The only good thing I can say about her situation was she found my step-father. (I call him my dad) He's been there since I was 3 and treats my mom like a princess.

I hope you find someone that treats you the way you should be treated.

And about the money. I would be LIVID!! I can only say you sound calmer than I would be and try to keep your head up. There is a big picture for this just needs to be developed ;)

Carol Foltz said...

Thanks for the comment, Jessica.

We've been married a long, long time. It's not the first time he's done something bad, definitely not the first time he's lied. But I don't have to live with him and I don't have to cover for him. So I am speaking my mind.