Calmness ...

(This was posted on a forum I frequent)

Calmness:

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished". So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of grey goose, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace.

(Disclaimer: I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I do not drink alcohol or smoke tobacco, which is one of the teachings in my church. However, I do find this pretty freaking funny.)

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