Thursday, August 1, 2013

Winning and losing

Yesterday, my father-in-law was in town.

My situation is kind of confusing. I've been separated since October 2008, but not divorced. No plans to get back together - ever. Much happier this way.

But it makes talking about the man I married confusing. He's not actually my ex-husband, since we're still married. And I do and don't consider myself married. I don't in the sense that I don't have a "married" emotional attachment to him any more. But I do in the eyes of the law and am not free to consider dating or anything of that nature.

But back to the father-in-law visit.

He lives in another state, but comes back to Iowa from time to time. He came up to visit Kent (my future ex-husband - see how awkward that is?) and took the girls and me out to lunch, as well.

During lunch conversation. I asked him if he ever considered writing his life story. I think he confused my intent with family history, or genealogy. (And I'm interested in that, too.) He didn't think he has anything interesting to share.

So I asked him a question. From what I knew, he was born in Pennsylvania and his family moved to San Diego when he was a kid. So I asked him why.

He talked about that for a couple of minutes, and I found it interesting. I asked Cayla later (she's the "family history is boring" girl) and she said it was "kinda" interesting. I don't think my father-in-law thought that it was anything spectacular, but I consider that a "win" on the family history front. He gave a glimpse into the history of the family, of himself, and that move was what brought him into contact with Pauline, the girl he later married and raised four sons with.

When he brought us home, I tried to find the box of photos we got when Pauline died in 1997. I know exactly what that box looks like, but I couldn't find it quickly enough (I think it's in another box, and I'm not sure where that is). When I do find it, I am to scan any photos of him with his car(s) that I can find. I've got at least one from the 1950s, when they were dating.

The losing side of the day was much later, after coming home from church. I asked Cayla to do a load of laundry, which is mostly her stuff plus the pants I wear to work. She put the clothes in the washer, but then she won the game of "who gets to finish doing laundry" by falling asleep at the kitchen table, leaving me to bring the clothes down to the available dryer and run them through 2 cycles. Which kept me up to 11 p.m. or so, and still I didn't go to sleep.

As I write this, I'm planning to take a nap. But Cayla is still asleep, as she has been since about 10 or so last night.

I wish I could sleep for 12-14 hours straight ...

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