My mom died on March 29, 2013.
Although I had been expecting this since early January, it's still hard. I'm trying to take care of her business (meaning, paying bills, arranging memorial service, etc.).
Every decision has to be vetted with my sister, of course. Which means consultations and delays sometimes. We are pretty much in agreement, which is good.
We chose a local funeral home. They have been very accommodating and understanding, especially since Donna and I are doing these arrangements piecemeal. I had taken Mom there in 2010 to talk about preplanning, but Donna and I changed some of the arrangements.
We had Mom cremated. This summer, we are planning to take her ashes to Wisconsin, where she can be buried with her parents.
We are having a memorial service on April 17 at church. I still have to order the urn. I had to talk to the cemetery association people to find out if they require a burial vault for cremated remains (they don/t), so I would know if I can order a biodegradable urn.
I'm pretty sure Mom would approve. When we did the preplanning appointment, Mom and I discussed green burials, but there aren't any close by. She had also mentioned wanting to be buried with her parents, which would be impossible if we went the traditional casket route.
I also had the weird experience of emailing Mom's obit to the funeral home, then going to work and processing Mom's obit. I modified it in the obit program, then sent it to the funeral home for approval. (I also sent Donna a copy, and she gave me a couple of changes.) I had wanted to stay out of the processing part of the whole thing, but it was inevitable, seeing as I am the only person who does obits on Saturday, and I wanted her obit in Sunday's paper.
So, that stuff is mostly out of the way. I still need to firm up the
program for the memorial (waiting to hear back if a certain person can
give a talk). I need to write what our bishop called a life sketch (or
eulogy, although to me that sounds like heaping loads of praise on a
person, and seems a bit fake to me).