What we learn to live with

I have been in increasing, almost constant pain for probably a couple of months now. My left knee is stiff and painful, especially when I stand or walk. When I sit, my leg becomes numb and/or painful. Sometimes the pain radiates up or down my leg. Stairs are a killer. Walking with this pain is such a problem it affects how I walk, to the point where my right knee is sometimes affected, as well.

I even started taking pain pills, which is very rare for me. I stopped taking them because they didn't seem to help, but I'm going to start again. I'm taking a store brand naproxen sodium.

But I haven't seen anyone about it.

I don't have health insurance - the premiums at work were too high, and the kids are currently covered. So I muddled along thinking I can deal with whatever comes along. I keep limping - last week at work a co-worker called me "Hopalong." I gave my witty reply back and it was well-received. But people at work will notice today, because I was off for two days and it always shocks them to see it again.

Last night, I work around 2:30 a.m. I couldn't sleep again for about 3 hours. It wasn't the pain - my knee hardly hurt at all, except when I was up moving or trying to find a good sleeping position. Part of my problem was restlessness and the effects of reading the wrong book before bedtime, and part was, I think, possibly sleep apnea - except I was awake. I just kept seeming to stop breathing and then gasping for breath. Not restful at all.

So I'll be going on to work with sleep deprivation and pain, but that's fairly normal. It's what I've learned to live with.

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